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xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017) Reviewed By Jay

United States, 19 January 2017

 

Jay´s Review

He's BACK? I thought he was DEAD!

 

Former exXxtreme athlete, former government operative, former self-exiled warrior, Xander Cage reluctantly heeds the call once more. Pandora's Box has gone missing. It is an electronic gadget that can seize control of any one of the thousands of satellites orbiting earth and turn it into a missile. His objective is to find this deadly electronic marvel and return it to the good guys. Although left for dead, he quickly reassembles his team of trusted thrill seekers, briefs them on their new objective and sets out to save the world... again. 

 

Action director D.J. Caruso ("Eagle Eye"), works with a script adapted by Rich Wilkes ("xXx") who collaborated with F. Scottt Frazier ("Collide") to create this chaotic PG-13 action thriller. The opening scenes feature one white-knuckle stunt after another while the sleight-of-hand stunts remind us that as movie goers, we absolutely MUST suspend disbelief. (Watch the 3-handed game with grenades in the trailer!)

 

Some of the BIG cast:

 

  • * Vin Diesel ("Guardians of the Galaxy" the voice of Groot) is Xander, the big bad (good) guy. Of course he is larger than life, indestructible and the women adore him (he calls it "undercover work). He seems to be living every guy's fantasy but I must say, his dialogue had the screening audience snickering from the beginning.
  • * Donnie Yen ("Rogue One: A Star Wars Story") is Xiang, another indestructible fellow who tangles with our hero, as they both try to capture that powerful device. His team of trusted operatives reminds us of our hero's.
  • * Deepika Padukone ("Tamasha") is Serena Unger, the gorgeous agent working with Xiang. She is smart, sexy and very, very capable. As things heat up, Xander gives her a small apparatus and tells her to "Dial 9" if she needs help. You'll love what happens!
  • * Samuel L. Jackson ("Avengers") is Augustus GibbonsXander's handler. And he has his hands full! He says "We are not at war; we are at peril!"
  • * Toni Collette ("Miss You Already") Government agent Jane Marke is tasked with the recovery. She will do whatever is necessary to make it happen.
  • * Nina Dobrev ("The Vampire Diaries") is Becky, the very welcome comic relief. She is a techie who has no intention of being where the action is!
  • * Rory McCann ("Game of Thrones") Tennyson Torch will make you laugh as he commemorates surviving his 200th vehicular crash with a proud selfie.
This is classic Vin Diesel, so expect fisticuffs, gunfire, vehicular mayhem, and blowie uppie stuff but I only counted three mild swear words and there is very little blood. I heard a few double entendres, which I can't repeat in this review, but they made me laugh. The movie features the world's longest airplane dive; we kept expecting a crash any second, as a physical melee rages amidships. 
 
The 3D was noticeable in the opening scenes when debris from the screen seemed to be floating over the heads of the people sitting in front of us. The action-loving screening audience exited the theater sated but happy. They don't judge a movie by its dialogue, but by the chase scenes, the fights, the scantily clad women and the happy ending against all odds. It's their money!

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