The Diva's
"Scary Movie" Review

WARNING - SPOILERS BELOW.

I've been thinking about how to tone this down a bit and not hit you over the head with my opinion. But you know what? Forget that. I can not live with myself if I didn't tell you how I felt about this movie.

Remember when Bill Murray was slimed in "Ghostbusters"? Remember the feeling of having icky green gooey stuff covering you from head to toe? That's how I felt about "Scary Movie". I felt totally slimed. I wanted to take a shower afterwards. I wanted my money back, except I didn't pay to see it. I wanted those two hours back. Two hours I could have spent pulling chin hairs or watching paint dry. You know, something fun.

There was not a single redeeming quality in this entire film. Not one. I've never, (y'all here me?) never watched a "comedy" and not cracked a smile once. Never. I was so unimpressed. Even the "funny" scenes were no longer funny because I saw all of them 120 times on commercials and trailers. Oh some folks will like it, I'm sure and I know I'll hear from them. But I'm sorry, I have better things to do than watch a bunch of lame and very unfunny sex jokes. I have better things to do than watch Marlon Wayans play a smoked out weed-head. Hell, if I want to watch a crack head for 2 hours, I can go have dinner downtown across the street from the greyhound station.

Next Friday was more amusing. And y'all know how I felt about that masterpiece.

I'm not even going to do my customary synopsis of the film. I don't want to re-live that violation. Trust me on this. Save your money and your time. You'll have more fun watching grass grow.

The scary part is that this movie got made.