Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2001

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I know I've promised to do this review for almost two years now, but first, for those who'll indulge me a bit longer, check out this Touching Tale: Why 'Willy Wonka' is my bestest most favoritest movie of all time (on a completely emotional level). And for the other three of you left who aren't interested in that Touching Tale [no, don't worry about my feelings. I'll get over it. Someday.], read on, macduff. THE STORY (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**) Charlie Bucket (Peter Ostrum), a po' ghetto chile, is doing the best he can to avoid The Man and hi...oops, sorry, wrong Ghetto Movie description. Charlie lives in a one-room shack with his widowed mother (Diana Sowle) and both sets of grandparents - all four of whom are bedridden, and have slept in the same bed together, without once getting up, for twenty years. When Charlie hears that local chocolatier Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) is sponsoring a Golden Ticket giveaway for Something Wonderful, Charlie gets his hopes up, and then dashed, and then... ...he manages to get a ticket! [and if you think that's a spoiler, take a look at the DVD cover. Anyway...] Now Charlie and his fellow tribe members - glutton Augustus (Michael Bollner) and his mother, Mrs. Gloop (Ursula Reit); spoiled brat Veruca Salt (Julie Dawn Cole) and her rich daddy (Roy Kinnear); gum-chewing Violet (Denise Nickerson) and her salesman-father (Leonard Stone); and constant television-watcher Mike (Paris Themmen) and his teacher-mother (Nora Denney) - must survive before Wonka's evil candy rival, Slugworth (Gunter Meisner), gets them voted off the island. THE UPSHOT I'm not exaggerating when I say that emotionally speaking, Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory is my bestest most favoritest movie of all time. Where else would you find Dr. Seuss' Warped Cousin, White people who are so hongry that a loaf of bread is considered a feast, and references to torturing children that aren't subject to nationwide boycotts? Only Wonka can bring you dialogue like: Reporter (asking Mike about television): "You like the killings, huh?" Mike TV: "What do you think life's all about?!?" And you wanna talk dancing and singing Oompa Loompas? Come on, ya gotta love them! Wonka has something to please every age level: candy for the kiddies, sarcasm for the adults, flashbacks to mind-altered states for the druggies... It's difficult for me to single out "favorites" amongst this crowd, but if I had to, I'd say Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Julie Dawn Cole, and David Battley elevated their respective characters a step above the others. Wilder played Wonka as a slightly sarcastic Dr. Seuss, something I don't think I caught as quickly when I was a child, but certainly noticed - with a grin - as an adult. Wilder wrapped biting wit around lines like "The suspense is terrible...I hope it'll last" and his deadpan "No. Stop. Don't." when the Little Darlings got out of control. I liked Albertson most as a representative of four people who never got up out of bed for 20 years - if that ain't Ghetto, I don't know what is - and because he always reminds me of an old high school teacher of mine, Mr. Hornkohl. Cole stole the show away from the other five kids, with her brilliantly bratty Veruca Salt. That she made me want to smack Veruca upside her spoiled little head, means Cole hit the bullseye (with "Dad" Roy Kinnear providing the arrow). Her song "I Want It Now" could be the theme song for a whole generation of nintendoplaystationdvdmp3-soaked kids. And as Charlie's teacher Mr. Turkentine, David Battley takes a small role and wrings so much laughter out of it, it's almost scary. The writing didn't stay consistently sharp for me; I didn't much care for the weaker "Mike TeeVee" portion of the tour (Wonka's fiery speech to Charlie and Grandpa Joe was really the only thing that registered for me in last part of the movie). And I'd still like to know just how so many Americans managed to live in that obviously Bavarian village during that period. But these small annoyances in no way negated the magnificent art direction, wonderful music by Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse, or Mel Stuart's inspired directing. One of these days, remind me to tell you my Top Five Reasons Wonka Could Never Be Remade In The 00's list. Better yet, wait for the book. But don't wait for the movie; Bammer sez grab a copy of Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory and start your own Christmas tradition. The DVD Thingies for A Christmas Story slightly disappointed me, but Wonka more than made up for it. I have the 25th Anniversary DVD, and it included a bunch of behind-the-scenes production notes and a couple trailers that I hadn't seen before. Nothing hi-tech, mind you; but I'm jiggy with it. BAMMER'S BOTTOM LINE Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory is 60% Ghettofabulous, 55% psychadelic, 20% Pythonesque...and 100% good. WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY:   I do so miss the Berryman. sigh back to top And that's the way I see it. Rose "Bams" Cooper 3BlackChicks Review™ Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000 EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com    ICQ: 7760005 http://www.3blackchicks.com/