In short, The Tailor Of Panama seems to be what you get when you mix "James Bond" with Jakob The Liar and True Lies. I'm just not sure if that's A Good Thing. No, actually, I'm fairly sure. The Story (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**) Andrew Osnard (Pierce Brosnan) has Dipped His Wick in the service of Her Majesty for the last time (at least, on English soil): Elliot (Harry Ditson), Andy's MI-6 boss, sends Andy off to Panama as Andy's last chance to make his name good. And Andy wastes no time; he targets an unsuspecting tailor named Harry Pendel (Geoffrey Rush) as his Finger On The Pulse of political Panama [because, clearly, tailors are the first people one thinks of when one thinks of people with their Finger On The Pulse of politicians.] Andy makes himself at home at the British Embassy, working closely with fellow spy [aka Warm Place To Put It] Francesca (Catherine McCormack). Having gotten a bit of Dirt on Harry's past, Andy uses Harry to get info that will help Andy make good again, by allowing "London" to help wrest control of the Panama Canal out from under the Panamanians and return it to American interests. And what better way to do that than to create an insurgent movement against the former Noriega regime, led by the Silent Opposition (so silent that they don't even know they're in opposition)? But Harry, feeling a bit trapped as well as a bit playful in telling his tales, may have gone to far when he involves his friend and former rebel Mickie Abraxas (Brendan Gleeson), his secretary and former rebel Marta (Leonor Varela) - and his wife Louisa (Jaime Lee Curtis), who has connections to the Canal through her work at the Canal Authority with Ernesto Delgado (Luis A. Goti). The Upshot The very first thing I wondered was, WTF? I mean, you look at a list of British expats while you're on an airplane from London to Panama, and you pick a tailor to target as The Man In The Know? Hoookay. Maybe it's A Rich Thang, because I certainly didn't understand. Ok, so let's say that Brits, at least Brits of the spying kind, see tailors as some see bartenders or barbers/beauticians: everybody talks to them, right? And say that a Tailor To The Sick And Shameless...uh, rich and famous...would get his ear bent by many a politico. Ok...but did no one ever think of double-checking against perhaps more credible, or at least established, sources of information? From the looks of this movie, where only Andy was The Intelligent One - and every other political operative is either a Bumbling Idjit, a sex-hungry Warm Place To Put It, a Blood-Thirsty Button-Pusher, a Powerless Stuffed Shirt, a Greedy Native, or an Oppressed Indigent - apparently not. I could forgive some of this, especially since I sat wondering WTF? throughout most of the movie (and not just at the noticeably ridiculous parts). Some of the time, I was just plain confused about what was going on (for starters, about the whole "England has to help America get control of the Panama Canal back" thingy that drove the whole plot in the first place). To the point where my confusion kept me interested in What Happened Next, I was fine with how things progressed. But all too often, my "WTF?" turned into "GMAFB!". The actors were far more enjoyable than that which they were called upon to act out. If you were to tell me that suave, debonair Pierce Brosnan could convincingly pull off a Total Heel before I'd seen "Tailor", I would've laughed at you. Likewise, this was the first movie I've seen Geoffrey Rush in that he didn't creep me out; he was rather sweet here, in fact, though I didn't buy the situation he found himself in for a single moment. And though Jamie Lee Curtis basically reprises her True Lies role as the non-enclued spousal unit (sans the sexy babe bit), she makes good, here. The supporting players left a bit to be desired; they functioned more as fill-in-the-blanks caricatures than as fleshed-out characters, for the most part, though Harold Pinter as the conscience on Harry's shoulder does add a bit of a strange twist to this already twisted tale. By the last frame, my "WTF?"'s had only increased. I felt like I'd had a Memento experience, without the enjoyment that came with that flick. And you can bet that that's not A Good Thing. The "Black Factor"    [ObDisclaimer: We Are Not A Monolith] [or, to be precise, this one's the "Indigenous Population" factor] Maybe it's Just Me, but I had the hardest time feeling sorry for the Tailor's money woes, what with all the truly poor - and politically constrained - people he and his well-to-do family were surrounded by on a daily basis. Combined with the somewhat silly casting (sorry, but I just couldn't get over Jon Polito and and some of his brethren of Italian heritage, being made to look Swarthy to be convincing Panamanians), it was Yet Another thing that disallowed me from really Feeling this movie. Bammer's Bottom Line Dark comedy? Political thriller? The Tailor Of Panama did neither particularly well, though it worked better as a mix of both. But in the end, it just seemed to have created a rather unbelievable situation, and driven a plot around it. I can't completely recommend it, though I did appreciate the fact that Pierce Brosnan has finally played a character whose handsomeness belies his utter repulsiveness; and for that, "Tailor" is worth at least a matinee viewing. THE TAILOR OF PANAMA: So, uh, fellas - left or right? back to top And that's the way I see it. Rose "Bams" Cooper 3BlackChicks Enterprises™ Copyright Rose Cooper, 2001 EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com    ICQ: 7760005 http://www.3blackchicks.com/ http://www.evenbetter.com/?partner=1987

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