Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000

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I've long been a "save the best for last" kinda Chick. I blame it on my Childhood [whine]; growing up Poor [sob] as I did, saving the good stuff till the end was a Coping Mechanism [boohoo] I developed early on. That's the only "good" reason I can think of for having put off reviewing one of the best movies out there, period, for so long. I guess my tendency towards procrastination might also have something to do with it. THE STORY (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**) In 1940's Indiana, all the hyperimaginative Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) wanted for Christmas was a genuine Red Ryder 200-shot Carbine Action Air Rifle. Not much to ask for, right? Not if you ask Ralphie's Mom (Melinda Dillon), who firmly believes that he'd shoot his eye out. Ralphie's Dad (Darren McGavin) doesn't have much to say on the subject, though; he's too busy fending off the dreaded Bumpus Hounds, fighting a furnace that fights him back, and considering what to do with the Major Prize he received from "Italy". Ralphie's little brother Randy (Ian Petrella) is no help either; Randy has his hands full making a mountain out of a molehill of mashed potatoes. And on top of all that, Ralphie, his brother, and his friends Flick (Scott Schwartz) and Schwartz (R.D. Robb) find themselves under the tyranny of neighborhood bully Scut Farcus (Zack Ward) and his diminutive friend Yano Anaya (Grover Dill). If only Ralphie had his trusty Old Blue BB gun, he'd save the day! His English teacher, Miss Shields (Tedde Moore), might've just provided Ralphie a save-the-day chance, when she assigns his class a normally-dreaded Theme to write. And this year's Theme theme? "What I Want For Christmas". THE UPSHOT Another reason for my not having reviewed this movie until now, is that I found myself a little overwhelmed by the task. How does one describe, in short form, the smiles and shrieks of laughter one has experienced over more than 15 years of seeing the same great movie over and over, without sounding like a babbling, fanboyish fool who talks too much? Wait...don't answer that... Strangely enough, for quite a few of those years, I never even saw A Christmas Story in its entirety; I didn't see it during its original theatrical run, and every time I'd catch it on TV, I'd almost literally catch it on TV, usually while channel surfing during the otherwise-boring Christmas TV Season. In fact, it wasn't until about a year or so ago that I finally got a chance to see it all the way through. Boy, I sure didn't know what I was missing. A Christmas Story is a rare combination of solid, unwhitewashed family fare, and down home humor, wrapped up with a pretty bow by a stellar cast, a surprisingly good director, and a brilliant storyteller ("writer", I've always thought, is too small a word for those talented few who can tell Stories that are as meaningful when spoken aloud as they are on paper). The 1940's never seemed as much fun as it did in Christmas, and that's as it should be. Previous depictions of The Good Old Days were downright boring. Not so with this retelling; though A Christmas Story was an 80's flick, it had none of the earmarks of that bizarre period in history, and unless I miss my guess, it kept the spirit of Jean Shepard's novel intact. That Shepard, with his distinctive voice and storytelling flair, acted as narrator, only added to the authentic feel of Christmas. Ralphie's friends, family, and neighborhood, resonated with me because it reminded me of the close-knit, but slightly warped, neighborhood of my youth. Much of the credit for the genuine atmosphere of the last-nameless family certainly goes to the actors playing them. In the non-cutesy roles of the imaginative Ralphie and his goofy younger brother Randy, Peter Billingsley and Ian Petrella (respectively) have a freshness untainted by the smartaleckyness of a Macauley Culkin in the irritating Home Alone series. I Felt Melinda Dillon's (humorous) Pain as Mom when she tried, and failed, to eat a hot meal for want of satisfying her family's need for a second helping; but while her stay-at-home Mom was certainly a product of her times, she had a spark in her eye and a strength in her voice that let the audience know that her Time would, surely, come. Supporting players like Scott Schwartz as the triple-dog-dared Flick, Tedde Moore as the put-upon teacher, Zack Ward and Yano Anaya as big bully Scut Farkus and his shortstuff toady Grover Dill, round out a brilliantly-realized cast. But for me, Christmas was delivered on the talents of actor Darren McGavin as the turkey-lovin', furnace-fightin', hounddog-hatin', cussin'-up-a-storm Dad. I kid you not: tears roll whenever I watch the histronics Dad goes through whenever he's tackling any of life's tough problems - like what to do with his Major Award and such. McGavin, for me, was nothing less than perfect playing a role with as much versatility - considering previous (and future) dramatic roles he's played - as a Robert De Niro would come to possess. And just color me Floored when I found out that Bob Clark, director of that cinematic wonder called Porky's, helmed Christmas. It's like night and day: A Christmas Story is about as far away from Porky's as Supernova is from being a real movie (then again, Clark went on later in his career to direct the horrid Baby Geniuses. Go figure). In any case, I tip my hat to Clark for his excellent eye and ear for what was needed to let the fabulous Jean Shepard's lovingly-told tale, come to pass. Which reminds me: I have to look for the book Christmas was based on, Shepard's novel In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, to read over the holidays. If it's true what They say about films made from books - "the book is always better than the movie" - reading that novel will be a great gift to myself. I gotta cut this overlong review; I could go on and on about this film, and I'd still leave something out ["fa ra ra ra ra"...awww mannnnn, my sides hurt just thinking about it]. No matter how many times I watch A Christmas Story, I can't help but to grin when Ralphie Goes Off on Ol' Yellow Eyes, or when Dad rassles with the Bumpus Hounds, or when the pre-bulimic Randy plays This Little Piggy, or when Flick demonstrates one more place one shouldn't put one's tongue, or when Mom plays with Dad's Ball, or...hell, just go watch the movie; you'll see what I mean! "DVD THINGIES" If there's anything wrong with this Christmas DVD, it'd have to be the lack of extras. There aren't any special DVD Thingies to speak of, though seeing the original trailer was kind of a kick. And having no widescreen option, made Bammer an unhappy camper; I know more than a few lovers of this "Story" groused at having to watch it in pan & scan on DVD (though that's better than all the editing that happens to it on commercial TV). But I'm easy; I'd watch this movie against a brick wall if I had to, it's that good. BAMMER'S BOTTOM LINE I need to stop being such a "save the best for last" kinda Chick; my review about one of the mostest bestest movies I've ever seen, should've been posted long ago, sorry. A Christmas Story is the kind of genuinely heartwarming, yet sincerely funny, family flicks that you wouldn't mind watching at any time of the year. DVD Thingies or no, it's a worthy addition to your movie shelf. A CHRISTMAS STORY:   Remember, kids: you'll shoot your eye out! back to top And that's the way I see it. Rose "Bams" Cooper 3BlackChicks Review™ Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000 EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com    ICQ: 7760005 http://www.3blackchicks.com/