Review Copyright Cassandra Henry, 2003

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"Yeah, I’ve seen a white diamond. Hell, I’ve even seen Neil Diamond. But I’ve never seen a black diamond before." -- Tom Arnold CASS' CLIP (WARNING: **spoilers below**) With precision execution, heist-master, Tony Fait [pronounced fate/faith] (DMX), and his partners in crime ­ lover, Daria (Gabrielle Union), Tony (Anthony Anderson) and Miles (Drag-on), rob a vault containing precious jewels and about 50 or so priceless black diamonds. The one snafu they didn’t expect to hold up their smooth operation is Taiwanese agent, Su (Jet Li). Fait and Daria escape on top a subway train, but Su kicks Miles’ butt first then takes the bag he thinks contains the black diamonds. Edit & splice in a more kinder and gentler Tony. Tony may be a thief by day, but at night, he prays with and dotes on his 8-year-old daughter, Vanessa (Paige Hurd). Back 2 Da action. So whuz up with these black diamonds? It turns out that these gems ended up in the United States by way of an ex-Taiwanese intelligence officer, turned international arms dealer, Ling (Mark Dacascos) and his accomplice, Song (Kelly Hu). After receiving several threats from Ling to return the black diamonds to him, then discovering his diamond buyer, Christophe (Paolo Seganti), dead, Tony tries to find out why these diamonds are so valuable. He turns to his pal Archie (Tom Arnold), a know-it-all who fences tanks and unusual artillery. Oh snap, these black beauties contain plutonium and are the latest weapons of mass destruction. Now Tony, his Fait/ful partners, and a hyperactive Archie, must team up with Su to rescue Vanessa from his archenemy Ling, as well as save the world from mass destruction. Can they do it using a striptease diversion, high-speed car and all-terrain roof-top chases amid choreographed fight sequences, with tanks shooting down helicopters, while a kick-ass soundtrack plays in the background, all in 100 minutes? DA 411 In case you’re wondering, Cradle 2 the Grave is not the second installment of a horror flick. Or is it? Romeo Must Die director, Andrzej Bartkowiak, is back at it again. If you substitute no acting Steven Seagal with Jet Li, who basically had one paragraph of dialogue, and swap out the bad cop storyline with a weapons of mass destruction plot, Cradle 2 the Grave could have been named Exit Wounds 2. Don’t expect any great acting here. DMX plays the cool thief and Jet Li fights tons of bad guys who lineup to get their asses kicked. I did find Cradle 2 the Grave mildly entertaining, especially watching Jet Li free fall, ledge to ledge from a high-rise hotel, or Anthony Anderson and Tom Arnold adlib their scenes. Gabrielle Union’s role was pretty cool, particularly her catfight scene with Kelly Hu. However, the three-part climatic end kinda ruined it though. Quite frankly, all these recent buddy movies -- I Spy, National Security, Shanghai Noon/Knights, Showtime, Rush Hour -- are interchangeable. CASS' CONCLUSION If you’re looking to be entertained with a mindless plot, Crouching Tiger-like martial art sequences, along with some funny one-liners, then hey, go see Cradle 2 the Grave . CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE: back to top Copyright Cassandra Henry, 2003 EMAIL: cass@3blackchicks.com